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Sleepy Kitty

Devin's here!

Actually, Devin Rose's 1 month old ;). She was born October 5th, 2007 at 3:51pm. 7 pounds, 10 ounces and 21 inches. I was in labor for about 28 hours - at my U/S on the 4th there was no amniotic fluid, and I was 4cms. I was induced with pitocin. Damn straight I had an epidural. She got stuck, we used the vacuum to get her out, then she got stuck by the shoulder with the cord wrapped around her neck. She finally came out, blue and limp. The NICU took good care of her for 48 hours, and she bounced back pretty well. It was scary, but there seems to be no lasting damage. *I* was in a lot of pain, after pushing for almost 4 hours, but by the 7th I was feeling better.

I got a copy of the bill to submit to AFLAC... Devin cost $11,618.14 to have! Thank the Lord and the Lady for All Kids...

Her first meal was formula in a bottle, but we're nursing exclusively now. It's hard - there are good days and bad days. She'll latch on great and eat like a champ, then next meal or day she'll slip off every 3rd suck and eat for MAYBE 5 minutes. :P It's a challenge, but I know it's worth it. My boobs are different too, adding to the nursing challenge, heh.

So... 1 month! We're reaching milestones. She ahhs, lifts her head, smiles, grabs and touches things, follows objects, pushes with her feet, flails, scootches on her tummy. She was born with a full head of hair, but it's falling out now. She LOVES bath time :D. She seems to like to be sung and read to. She loves her paci. She REALLY loves her dad too, though her cries stress him out, which I think she picks up on and that stresses HER out, and it's just a bad cycle :P.

I thought she was going through a growth spurt or I ate something that upset her or something... but now I'm just thinking I have a cranky, crabby, fussy baby. I'm pretty sure it's not colic. I can calm her by holding her, cuddling, using paci, tummy time on the boppy or nursing her. She is a little stuffed up - I've been getting boogers out of her since Sunday. But... it's just so HARD. I can't put her down! Dave got on me about the condition of the house, about always holding her and not even taking care of myself. SO... I'm trying to compromise. If she's pretty deeply asleep I put her in the bouncer. She'll sleep for 20 or so minutes before she realizes where she is. I use the sling or the Baby Bjorn to free up my hands. Or some of the 6 grandparents come over for cuddles while I clean or shop or rest.

Dave and I are ok. We're still good and happy, and we love Devin. But sleep dep and stress are getting to us a little, not to mention Dev's fussiness, so we're a little snippy, but nothing serious. Also, the doc was all worried that I'd have bad ppd. I've been a little sad, a lot overwhelmed, and had a few breakdowns, but nothing I'd call depression, so I think I might be in the clear there, knock on wood. There are days where I question our decision, wonder why, and wonder what our life is going to be versus what it could have been, but those moments, those funks are fleeting and fade. I don't regret her... I'm just scared. Tired. A little selfish. Change is hard...

Next? Things Need To Get Done. I can't believe it's been a month already! Time is just slipping right by me. Nothing's late or anything, but it's a struggle to keep on top of everything. Remember everything. Bills, housework, Devin, me, and the To Do list, like Dev's x-mas list, her insurance, thank you notes, my paperwork, learning to drive... :P AND once again I don't know if or when I'm going back to work (or where), and once again I don't know where I'm moving to :P. We were going to Remmington, but the rent's pretty high and so now Dave's thinking it'd be better if we bought. I dunno... in this market that scares me, but I guess we'll see. It's not really up to me anyway... :P

Once again, the word is Uncertainty...

Heh... this is pretty accurate.

OK... I know it's been a LONG ass time. I'm trying to remember/post all the important stuff. Am I gonna keep up here? I duno yet. I'm still deciding. So... I might see you, and I might not ;).